My Rants

Thursday, December 3, 2009 - :

SURPRISE!!!

thank you people! theresa! angeline! charlene! joven! cai! thank you so much

so after picking up 'lost' angie, we went pizza hut. i didn't even suspect anything until tirumisu came to me:) it's super nice i tell you! i shall post the picture when i get it :)

i'm really touched because i never really celebrated my birthday in this way before and rarely there was chance since it's in the holidays. so THANK YOU again people! My wonderful friends! i really don't know how to say how happy i am. You'all made my day, my birthday this year:)

today will be etched in my memory, always...

The sun is rising @ 10:44 PM

Wednesday, December 2, 2009 - :

im still UNEMPLOYED!!!



The sun is rising @ 4:55 PM

Friday, November 20, 2009 - :

this is really horrible. i can't put my thoughts into words these days so they come out incoherent. i'hv been thinking about LIFE. im probably emo-ing but i think thinking about my goals is important though nothing ever flowers from my thinking process. after so much of so called acquiring knowledge process sometimes i feel that i'm useless. apart from reading the textbook, answering questions, what more do i know about? when i feel like doing something i'hv never done before, there's this voice in my head that says "you won't be good at it". truth is i don't seem to be good in anything. i want to do something that i feel i'm good at and not be looked as insignificant. why am i not gifted for something?

gah. thinking too much again and i really don't know who i should talk to to feel better. it's probably self-pity im feeling for myself. is it because of the environment i'hv been in for four years? who's to say things may have been different if i'hv been somewhere else.

where do i feel like going now?
do i belong?

The sun is rising @ 5:19 PM

Tuesday, November 17, 2009 - :

it shows exactly 12 on my computer clock. how cool is that. i think i'hv never blogged during midnight. oh well.

today went cai's house and played the wee game or is it wi? oh whatever. and i realised i cant play remote control games. i actually held the remote the wrong way and 'mushroom' character in the game ended up turning round and round. then went with theresa to shop for her dress. she gave me a hard time. really. because she didn't want to try on those dresses. good thing is she found her dress! yip!

im trying to find some shiny thing to put on my wrist. so maybe i'll be going bugis street these few days? zzzz...

i just finish watching 'hot shot' (a very long ago show) and i think the ending doesn't make any sense.

i think nobody comes here anymore but i'll continue blogging because reading my own posts is like reading a diary and i can feel how i felt at point of time when writing those posts.

it's so amazing that i havent touched any books in three days.

The sun is rising @ 12:00 AM

Sunday, November 15, 2009 - :

today i went to hunt for a dress with my mum and aunt and i want to say i have never tried on so many clothes in a day in my life. it was really SHOPPING. now that i really shopped i cant say i like it because it was horrible :x seeing pretty dress is one thing, looking good on you is another thing. and most of the time the dresses i tried didn't fit at all. or i shall say there isn't any dress of my size. $#%^&

oh whatever. i shall go watch shows now.

btw, only everything fits well on a manequin.

The sun is rising @ 9:25 PM

Wednesday, November 4, 2009 - :

i think i regret. seriously. i shouldnt be thing like that i know. but argh...

now i think back, i realise things weren't that smooth but somehow they're over and can't really remember what were not good.

haiz.

on the surface there don't seem to be any expectations but surely somewhere in you, you expect something though i don't really know what they are. im mixing up all my pronouns but who cares.

what happens when there seems to be no faith but only expectations?
wouldn't it be fun if we study just for the sake of acquiring knowledge? and studying is not used to determine how good you are?
okay. i think it is not possible after all if im still living on this planet.
so i don't care if the world is going to end at 2012.

The sun is rising @ 5:32 PM

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 - :

there isn't a single post in july, so i must be working very hard for that month, right? today is the last day of prelims and also the day to start working hard, isn't it ironical? been watching too much youtube these days and im so up to date with celebrity news. the book i just finish was thrilling. it's called i heard that song before by mary higgins clark. there are alot of complications in the murders and everyone invovled knew a bit of something but they lied to protect themselves, so the whole picture took quite long to piece up.

ate baked rice today. pizza hut served the nice mushroom soup. i don't like the veggie chicken soup which i suppose normally served on friday.

i don't have much to blog these days, probably because my life is less troubled than before. there are problems out there or should i just say situations because it just affects me at certain moments, that is meant to be what it is i suppose. you just have to move along with the wave instead of being the stupid particle on the wave that bobs up and down perpendicular to the wave because you will get nowhere when other particles wave you goodbye. i shall end off with i kind of like the song 'run' by taylor swift.

The sun is rising @ 5:57 PM

Wednesday, September 2, 2009 - :

oh great, i am so careless, muddlehead, in-observant and whatsoever. i actually forgot to do the last question for maths paper 2 today. now i even wonder if i finished my maths paper 1 that day. i admit i could be dreaming a little but oh my gosh, i threw 10 marks away just like that. okay, so i realised there was this last question like 2 minutes before the end when i thought the graph question was the last? i was shivering hard i suppose so the three questions i supposedly did are most pobably wrong. aye. i don't feel sad, yup because i think this lesson should have hit me hard enough to prevent me from doing the same thing again. And smack me out of the day-dreaming state.

The sun is rising @ 12:36 PM

Monday, August 10, 2009 - :

there is this tendancy of me to procastinate when there is one extra day, so many things are left undone despite of my great plans to do more things apart the norm. more things would be more practice and play time. i achieved one so it should be a great accomplishment i suppose. i read two books. aren't you proud of me? one was horribly sad and i think i just can't accept unhappy endings in books. books are suppose to show the ideal world of fantasy. where hopes and dreams do come alive miraculously. this horrible sad book actually ended with 'he wanted to take a breath of fresh air'- the boy's mother had removed the life support system as he wanted to have his last walk in the garden. he died which was heartwrenching because he had struggled to live for 12 years. i can't blame the author because even if she was kind enough there was no way the boy could be cured.

is it becoming increasingly hard to believe there's miracles in life? or has it become so rare that we lose faith in it. i really don't know. one thing im sure of: no work no gain. but then again even when you work, there might not be gain. so, how do you force in the idea that hard work is all that matters when you don't see results?

is it a must to accept that some people are born to be while others are not?

The sun is rising @ 10:44 PM

Saturday, June 20, 2009 - :

i come to realise food determines my mood. dinner was inedible today. you wouldn't call it vegetable rice. it's so depressing to know that im eating for the sake of eating. but come to think about it, it has been like that for quite some time, hasn't it?

i think im running out of tolerance. where lies the blame?

The sun is rising @ 9:03 PM

Friday, May 22, 2009 - :

it seriously hurts to know that you are always alone. it's like hitting your head against the wall. somehow physical injury will heal someday but feelings are never healed. it's like putting plaster on it but the wound is still there everytime you put it behind you. and you wonder everytime: what am i suppose to do? then come out with the conclusion that nothing can be done but to stick back the plaster again. as long as it holds, the wound wouldn't be exposed to water and it wouldn't hurt. but there are times, you peel it off yourself and look at it. it's worst than a stab in the heart because it's still there no matter how hard you have tried to get on with life. and when you look at people around you, life seems to be pretty normal and you ask why are you the abnormal one? why do you have to think like that? maybe is the problem with thinking too much and refusing to admit that this is my life though i don't want it to be like that. there's too much things i keep but the world will be in a mess if i open the box of misery, if i stop pretending normal. somehow i hope to just sleep and wake up to find that i'm okay. or just let me sleep and rest a while.

give me a moment to spread my wings and see the world

The sun is rising @ 9:40 PM

Monday, April 20, 2009 - :

for some reasons my computer is always converting some webpages into chinese. oh whatever. talking about chinese, my higher chinese is horrible. and i don't know what i am suppose to do about it. see. horrible means horribble.

in case you are wondering why am i here. my answer is simply, i'm taking a break. seriously, nowadays i get commented when i watch TV. although i know there is insufficient time and i would be able to finish my work if i sit in front of the desk for 24hrs, i don't find the point in doing that. sometimes i wonder where is the freedom in life? it's more of a routine. and the fact that we or maybe only me can't possibly stay attentive in every single lesson just means time is wasted day-dreaming away. i have to wake up soon.

oh well. whatever it is, even if the sky drops down tomorrow, i am going to queue for ice-cream. nothing is more important than getting free ice-ream tomorrow!!! :)))

sometimes when you think love doesn't exit,
you just see it
and it warms your heart
then you wonder if you have it

The sun is rising @ 9:41 PM

Sunday, March 22, 2009 - :

i love google earth and i just have to urge to say it. life is getting i dunno what. my sneezing isn't improving and the idea of going to school tomorrow with packets of tissue to last me the whole day, is just so not appealing.

to end off on a bright note. i shall say each's term is getting better and better. besides, i just ate breadtalk's greentea cake. so life should be good.

The sun is rising @ 9:00 PM

Friday, March 20, 2009 - :

i am enjoying life, am i? online in the noon time. and i tell you, i haven't finish all those stuff. stuff. seriously i can't imagine people mugging now. i can just faint if i really see one because it will really make me feel guilty. see. i am not working. aye. what a lazy pig you will say.

something very funny happened yesterday i don't know how to say here in words. anyway, maybe you may find it not funny because it's sort of you must see it. hoho. i was in the library yesterday. it wasn't on purpose. and i must say i didn't go there to spread my germs. besides, a lot of people are coughing in the library too. and i found out library posters are quite funny too. you really should take a moment of your life to go see. it wouldn't be a waste of time. and and i redeemed my beloved caculator. now, it is back home. your life will be just as incomplete with a caculator really. okay maybe only for me because im really bad at mental sums.

come to think of it. nothing is really good.

anyway, i found the song i heard on radio. it's called The Show by Lenka.

I'm just a little bit
Caught in the middle
Life is a maze
And love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
I can't do it alone
(I've tried)
And I don't know why

Slow it down
Make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop
'Cuz it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
To be something I'm not

I'm a fool
Out of love
'Cuz I just can't get enough

I am just a little girl
Lost in the moment
I'm so scared
But don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down
I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show

The sun is hot
In the sky
Just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the sign
And synchronize in time
It's a joke
Nobody knows
They've got a ticket to that show
Yeah

um de dum
Dudum de dum

The sun is rising @ 12:24 PM

Wednesday, March 18, 2009 - :

oh man. i seriously need renewable tissue. with every sneeze i'm killing trees. i don't like to be sick. and seriously who likes to be sick when there's this pile of whatever on your desk waiting to be whatever. yeah. it's such a good excuse to just leave it alone because i am sick but wouldn't i be deluding myself? because whether you are sick or not deadline means DEAD-LINE. and tell me what crap is this: "Have A Good Rest" i'm starting to think that as a form of sacrasm instead of a form of concern. oh please, what is the meaning of good rest? working 24 hours a day? finishing studying tests that coming up at your feet? FINISH YOUR HOMEWORK!!!!??? and hoho congrats to you falling sick.

And i still thought i could have some time to read my books. Continue to dream.... and great, don't need to tell me that im wasting time blogging. Blogging is not important and not urgent.

but seriously im super behind in my homework. you ask me what i'hv done, you can probably faint. with my fever going on a roller coaster ride, everything is unpredictable because what i plan to do wouldn't be accomplished by the end of the day. i end up falling asleep halfway through something. and do i need to declare that im so proud that i slept for 20 hours? okay, not straight 20. occassional wake-ups for my meals and medication.

i wouldn't say life is so sad because it is just toooo depressing.
i would say life will be better tomorrow.
ah... doesn't this sounds better?

The sun is rising @ 5:45 PM

Tuesday, February 24, 2009 - :

Blame it on my carelessness. What more do you want./

The sun is rising @ 10:52 PM

Saturday, January 24, 2009 - :

i think my blog is super dead but i will post still!

THANKYOU ABI AND JOY for the WONDRFUL chocolate cake!

i had cake for recess on friday! and pizza hut for lunch! woo~~~ i am indulging myself too much, am i?

i did nothing yesterday. slept at 9pm wake up at 8am today. i think i am just too tired or maybe too into the holiday mood already. everybody should watch american idol because some contestants are just so funny. you will see that kind of people - that kind that don't have talent but think highly of himself and act like--i dunno what word to use. you will say oh please, just stop embarrassing yourself.

there is a lot of homework. seems a lot because i'm distracted by the books i borrowed yesterday.

i thought i have more to say but they just disappeared somehow. i having steamboat tomorrow and i will tell you what i eat because i am going to eat A LOT!!!

The sun is rising @ 6:47 PM

Wednesday, January 14, 2009 - :

when light shines everywhere, which path will you take?
and when darkness falls, you know that you have to follow the only light that is shinning.

life can never be better. what stupid careless mistakes have i made so far? quite a lot actually so i better start waking up. no, must wake up now or else the moon will collapse, which is enough to destroy the earth.

i am not going to describe school life. btw, whale rider is not nice. Why is there such a book with so many facts and legends! and there is apparently a purpose for the author deciding to start the book by describing weird-ed animals.

chinese new year is coming but yet i cannot feel the festive mood. it is probably due to the fact that i see it as a four-day-eat-sleep-and-rest period. haha. and i wouldn't receive much ang baos either.

i want to drink dong gua cha. thirsty luh.

i think this is ridiculous. read....
CPR is an attempt to revive someone whose heart and/or breathing has stopped. This attempt can be made by using special drugs or machines or pressing very firmly on the chest.

In Colorado, it is presumed you would want CPR unless you and your doctor have signed a form that allows you (or your agent or proxy) to refuse CPR.

In Colorado, it is presumed you would want CPR unless you and your doctor have signed a form that allows you (or your agent or proxy) to refuse CPR.
If you have a CPR directive, and your heart and/or lungs stop, medical personnel won't try to press on your chest.

The sun is rising @ 6:45 PM

Monday, December 29, 2008 - :

crap. shit. sai. i don't like shit and sai so give me more words to describe the crappy thing that just happened. okay that seems impossible because i can't tell you what happened.

i've been shopping lately. sort of window-shopping. i did buy a few stuff like a shirt, a bag and a pair of new shoes but coincidentally or not they are all last piece stuff. then meet weird people along the way. like someone who answers her phone, without even saying hello, she says shut up and ended the call. and little human comes half walking, half crawling towards me. and the person who served my grape ice-cream in a restaurant talked to me in Japanese.

weird. weird. weird.

my tuition enrolment test-whatever you call it-was weird also. i remembered last time i was supposed to write something about superheros. this time is expository: write about ways to deal with stress. the superhero one was better because i rather pretend to be some spiderman than to be some pro telling people how to deal with stress.

fantasy holiday is ending. don't like to be reminded but someone is always reminding me.

the xiao niang re show is so sad. so evil. dumb men who can do nothing to uphold justice and shrewd women who think they can rule the world. sometimes it gets so infuriating watching the show because bad people rule the pitiful ones. it's showing now.

after snow comes spring

angel does something wrong but it will somehow drag the devil along because somehow the devil forgot to use brain and think and just keep mouth shut. guess what? the ultimatum delivered is always directed to the devil. no such thing as fairness. is there?

The sun is rising @ 7:24 PM

Wednesday, December 17, 2008 - :

grow-ing whenever we can,
we're growing when we're sleeping
and even when we play.
as we grow alittle longer,
we can do more things,
because im growing
and so are youuuuu

The sun is rising @ 11:26 AM

Saturday, December 13, 2008 - :

know what? reading profession in books arouse my interest in them but it is simply impossible to try them all. A tennis player, a photographer, a dancer, an artist or just simply being rich and roam the world. okay the last one isn't a profession at all, it's just simply a person who can enjoy life to the fullest. yup. and all that i'hv mentioned is ridiculous for a person like me stuck in a room with one window and a door o.o and i just finished a story of a racer, it is super(since i don't like use the word damn) amazing and thrilling. it is written in the 1980s so i think the racing danger is higher. and no, don't get the idea that i want to be a racer. i wonder how people can sit in that stuffy thing and race rounds and rounds at top speed.

so, books put you in the virtual world. i wouldn't consider fantasy a bad thing but it's simply annoying to know that they wouldn't come true. like day-dreaming. they can let you be something you are not in real life. who knows, real life might be a fantasy after all? hmmm?

i am crapping and i like to say that because i refuse to admit what i have written above are maniacal. insane. anyway, there's this super dumb show showing on tv-not cable tv, so you can guess since i narrow down the possibilities :> dumb until it is funny. the actor's tone very act-child-like and that guy is simply dumb also. hahah. if you know the show im talking about, we should have the same sentiments. whole point is if you don't like tooo funnyy shows don't watch it. ha. and i don't want to reveal what show that is because i don't want to be a mean pok.

did i mention that i'hv been dropping hair recently. i just need to twirl it and a strand just drop out. and i didn't pull my hair these few weeks since im currently not stressed by anything.

embrace and what do you get?

The sun is rising @ 12:46 PM

Wednesday, December 10, 2008 - :

aww~~~ i am so bored. i can read books the whole day because i borrow nice ones but it is just so wrong to leave my pile of homework lying there. then again, when i start doing them, i stone at the questions partly half of the time and it is super annoying to know that i take so long to finish something.

last week was totally/ half wasted because i was sick. should i describe how horrible it was? no. i shall just say that i spent few hundred bucks and the hospital doctor didn't cure me and only 15 bucks for a clinic doctor and i recovered. AND i can't consume antibiotics. i ate four and it worsened the problem so i ended up not completing the whole course of antibiotics :/

MATHS MAKE ME MAD so i shall say the amount of maths homework is insane, or should i say it is the questions that are insane? it so hard to keep your sanity when there's simply work to be done. bottom line? i am becoming lazy due to this holiday. which is a abominable thing.

is this considered long already? i got too much pictures to post so maybe later. before i finish off, i 've got something to declare: I WANT TO WATCH MOVIESSSS. so anyone wants to watch movie find me!!!!

The sun is rising @ 12:00 PM

Wednesday, December 3, 2008 - :

unlucky or not, my fever yesterday went up to 39. and my home thermometer wasn't acurate at all so i thought it was just 38+. because i don't have sore throat or running nose blah blah blah, the doctor said i looked perfectly fine and suspected dengee(spelt like that?). so, they took my blood which appears to be fine currently. they took a whole tube btw, it is great news that i didn't faint :/ and it feels horrible to swallow tablets because i can feel it going down my oseophagus.

there goes my great meal tomorrow. even if i can eat, i don't have the appetite. i feel bloated ): vomited my breakfast yesterday and today:/

i shall stop blogging about my sickness.

The sun is rising @ 4:50 PM

Monday, December 1, 2008 - :

yoyo! i need to post something because it is first of december.

so i got a laptop. i don't deny that it is so very cool because the key pad is so nice to type on. it is also very irritating too because the one i bought initially got problem. the 3rd day of purchase which is today, it can't on at all. and i paid a bomb for it-.- okay, not me. the one im using now is brand new :)

and did your watch the news? i think im so cut out from the world until yesterday? people in america got this christmas sale and people actually got shot or something? yup. i think someone died is it? in any case, it's so violent.

nice shows are starting to show i suppose.
AND i must make good use of the holidays :)
*above two have no link*

BEST month of the year is here! <3

The sun is rising @ 11:13 PM

Friday, November 28, 2008 - :

every end is a new beginning...

ha. i slept and just woke for dinner. coming home by bus with a lot of this and that is a so diu lian experience because of my clumsiness. i decided to pull my bag since it got wheels but the whole bag can't seem to travel straight and part of it was dragging against the floor because one wheel wasn't touching the ground? it went in a either zig-zag or curve path.

things are whirling past me. it's okay. it's alright. december is coming! and i love this month. everyone must love december too! pick up the mess and move on:)

im sorry for my mood swings people. i was very irritated when i got the table filled with milo powder and sugar._ _. i can't put my thoughts in words. it is very hard. this post shall be short again.

sorry.

The sun is rising @ 8:06 PM