My Rants

Monday, July 12, 2010 - :

keep pushing myself so hard because i was never satisfied.

but now im afraid if you push me any further i may just turn off completely. expectations i blindly work towards may not mean anything.

can't i just live in my dreams a little while longer?

The sun is rising @ 10:14 PM

Sunday, July 11, 2010 - :

everything is in state of disorder, my room is the prove of it.

there's like this pile of intellectual magazines that i didn't read, stacks of 'stuff' under my bed. i really need to clear them by the following week. maybe then i can start painting the wooden parts of Eiffel tower and start building it.

there's going to be many important things to complete for the rest of the year. i don't know how i'm going to survive it but it's a must to survive it and to survive exceptionally well.

and i need to stop finding things to do that keeps me away from doing work.

The sun is rising @ 10:19 PM

Wednesday, July 7, 2010 - :

it's so hard to cry alone.
though it makes me tougher every time.

i'm so tired, again, for the umpteen time in the year. everything changed and yet nothing changed. everything i once believed in crashed and died. everything seems not important anymore. everything that i want to be became everything i gave up to be.

live still moves on. to believe everyone has a purpose in life to fulfil just sounds increasingly unconvincing each day. maybe the purpose was to not have a purpose after all.

what happens when you find that you're at the starting point in the end?

The sun is rising @ 10:19 PM