My Rants

Saturday, December 18, 2010 - :

oh man. i went to take the test for gp tuition today and i think i screwed it up real bad. :/ it horrible when you don't know what to write because you'll be staring at the lines and worrying about how to fill them with words. i didn't even have a single solid point ): gah. then there was christmas carols going on. wait. the singing was out of tune so i guess it can't be called carols. it was buzzing in my ears and i got really frustrated.

i need to come up with plans to save my gp. it's so frustating when you want to express something but can't find an appropriate vocbulary to convey the message. is my language skills that bad? i don't even know if i'm writing proper english these days. save me:/

The main purpose of edcation should be aimed at enabling people to find employment. Do you agree?

killed me.

The sun is rising @ 11:18 PM

Thursday, December 9, 2010 - :

The view from sky park was stunning, really. I was so dazzled. marina bay feels so posh and peaceful from up there. you can see buildings that lasted from colonial times, the new structures put in to accomodate the growing needs of tourism and the five stars hotels that belong to multinational companies. Though each building or structure was built separately, they seem to mash together to present to their audience a breathtaking picture. It is no doubt that each shines on their own, like the esplanade, the singapore flyer, but without the others they are not perfect. Was it planned for marina bay to look like that, i wonder. and was it luck that has the fullerton hotel gleaming right smack at the center? some things are just meant to be and not. am i meant to do something great out of myself? or just some small worker who slogs her life at some company? okay... that's out of point.

what struck me at the sky park was that everything has a path to take, decision made at each crossroad matters; there's always a choice but fate paves the way. i know it's kind of cliche but i actually asked myself where do i belong in this shiny, on the surface all glitz and glamour city. Seeing those people in suit and tie, i sort of admire them because they look cool working in the shiny world. i guess it is apt to describe myself as an immature kid on a visit to a castle when i was in marina bay resorts world.

so did this sky park trip make up for me not being on plane today? i don't know. i feel sad still. i reached a crossroad but one had fence already so there's no choice. so, i hope something in the holidays can make me feel refreshed and new before i embark on the path next year.

may it be great:)

The sun is rising @ 10:57 PM

Tuesday, December 7, 2010 - :

6 Dec 2010

I'm horribly sad now.

I shouldn't be looking so forward to going to melbourne then i wouldn't be so upset right now. everything's wrong both ways. I really really want to go but it's not even a question to raise if i can fly there myself.

everything just went wrong.

why? ):

and i can't accept the fact that the money is just thrown into the deep blue sea which i can't even get a glimpse of. the situation is just so wrong. i really don't know what i'm wishing for right now because wishing to go is just wrong but the idea that im not going to the place i've been so focused on these few months is just so frustrating and sad. horribly sad. it's the first time i ever think about going overseas u know. it's not a big deal to anyone since 'hey come on, you can go there another time you know'. but for me it's really a big deal. i've been so eager about the trip and it was sort of like my motivation to get PW done. this sounds ridiculous. but. it was. I thought this could be something that can make me real happy this year and i'll start next year without any bitterness since i screwed up my studies this year. i want to get on the plane and fly to another continent and forget this place for a while. i wanted to come back having the feeling that the bad part of my life has been over and i'm starting afresh as a new person.

i know i shouldnt be feeling this way but it hurts to have the pretty pictures in my head crushed.
till next time. i'll be there soon.

The sun is rising @ 8:22 PM